What the Rain Brings
by grrawr
Summary: In which Jeff must learn to live again. Niff. Oneshot. Character death. Melissa's attempt at angst.


**Disclaimer:**Glee, the world and its characters all belong to Fox. I own nothing and make no profit. No copyright infringement is intended.

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The rain is pounding down around them as they stand there, two lone figures in the empty park.

"How could you just leave?" Jeff screams, his voice barely audible over the constant thrum of heavy rain, "How could you do that to me? To us? I thought—" He wipes angrily at his face—not that it matters. It's nearly impossible to tell what are tears and what is rain. "I thought you loved me."

Nick bites his lip. "No," he says, his voice cracking. "No," he repeats, shaking his head slowly, "I never did." Nick can't help the sob that escapes him. He hates lying to Jeff, but he has to. It's for his own good. _You're better off without me_, he thinks.

He watches as Jeff's face falls, the angry scowl twisting into one of irrevocable pain. The brunette wants nothing more to hug Jeff, to take him into his arms and whisper sweet nothings in his ear, but it's too late for that. Nick wishes he could be as strong as Jeff. He wishes he could be everything Jeff deserves, but he just can't be that person.

Jeff wonders how it's possible to love someone and hate them at the same time. He tries to tell Nick how much he means to him—how he'll do anything and everything for him—but the words stick in his throat, and it takes everything he has to not break down, and walk away just as Nick does.

…

Jeff's thirty feet away when he hears a gunshot. As much as he hates Nick in that moment, he can't help but wonder if the brunette is all right, if he'd somehow crossed paths with the gunman. He runs back to where they'd parted as fast as he can. His hair is plastered to his head and he's soaking wet, but he doesn't care anymore.

Jeff lets out a silent scream. There's blood—so much blood. The rain tries to wash it away, but Nick's heart keeps pumping it out, emptying the richness onto the concrete.

"Nicky?" he asks, his voice shaking. He hopes that maybe it's a joke, one of Nick's stupid pranks, and that any minute he'll pop up and yell "Surprise! Gotcha!"

He never does.

…

Jeff is asked to speak at Nick's memorial service; it's one of the hardest things he's ever done.

"I loved Nick," he says, "I loved him with all my heart. Hell, I still do. I'll probably always love him. I would've done anything for him. He was my brother, my best friend—" he pauses, "—the love of my life. I just wish I could've told him how much he meant to me." His voice breaks and he nods slightly before stepping away from the podium, letting his golden fringe cover his face. The Warblers surround him, offering what support they can, but it's not enough.

What Jeff really needs is Nick.

…

It hurts. It fucking hurts. Everything reminds Jeff of Nick—the Harry Potter poster on his wall (Nick always insisted that Lord of the Rings was better), the stack of unread books by his bedside (Nick was always trying to get him to read), even the bag of candy in his desk drawer (jellybeans were Nick's favorite).

Sometimes he'll call Nick's phone, even though he knows no one will answer; he likes hearing the brunette's voice, even if it's just a recording. "Hey, it's Nick. Jeff and I are probably out wreaking havoc somewhere, so leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as we're done." Right before the beep, Jeff can hear himself laughing in the background.

God, he misses Nick.

…

Jeff hates the rain now. He used to love it.

"C'mon, Nicky," he'd beg, "Come play in the rain with me!" Nick would roll his eyes and laugh, eventually giving in, and they'd go enjoy the rain, letting it wash over them, leaving their skin tingling and hearts racing and feeling so…alive.

Jeff can't do that anymore. All he can see is red—rivers of blood, trickling across the ground and pooling around him.

…

One day, he's taking a walk through that very same park when it starts to rain.

"No," Jeff whispers, "No, no, no."

Every moment is etched into his memory; he can see it happening again, and he's powerless to stop it. The blonde sinks to the ground, his legs unable to carry him any further. He presses his hands to his eyes, willing the tears to go away, but they keep coming, spilling out and running down his cheeks.

When he opens his eyes again, he's surprised to see that it's no longer raining.

Jeff feels a slight pressure on his shoulder and looks up. "N-Nicky!" he gasps.

Nick smiles. "Hey, Jeffster," he says softly, before wrapping his arms around the blonde.

Jeff buries his face in the crook of Nick's neck. "I love you Nicky," he blurts out before he can stop himself. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," Nick replies, pressing a kiss into the blonde's hair.

Jeff pulls back slightly as his brain finally catches up to him.

Nick is dead—but he's here. He looks like Nick. He sounds like Nick. He even smells like Nick, that intoxicating mixture of cologne and mint, and Jeff's pretty sure that if he kissed him, he'd taste like Nick.

As if sensing his hesitation, Nick takes Jeff's hand, running his thumb soothingly over the other boy's hand. Jeff lays his head against Nick's and it feels so right, like the past four months never happened.

"Why'd you do it?" Jeff asks softly.

Nick shrugs. "I wasn't as strong as you. I never was."

"But you are strong, Nick," Jeff argues. "You're one of the strongest people I know."

Nick shakes his head. "No, I'm not, Jeff. I'm nowhere near as strong as you."

They sit in silence for a while, before Jeff speaks up again. "I have to go back, don't I?" his voice is nothing more than a whisper, and he looks as though he already regrets saying it. His lip quivers slightly, and Nick wishes there was something- anything- he can do to make the blonde smile, but he can't. Nick nods, running his hand through the blonde's silky locks. "But I don't wanna go back. I wanna stay with you." Jeff protests, burying his face further into Nick's chest.

Nick shakes his head. "You've gotta go back, babe. Think of your parents, of your little sis. Think of the Warblers. They need you."

It's Jeff's turn to shake his head. "But I need you."

Nick laughs a little. "I'll be here, Jeffie; don't worry. I'll be waiting for you, okay?" He pulls back slightly, sliding his hand into Jeff's. "And one day, in sixty or seventy years, it'll be your turn to stay, but it's not your time yet."

Jeff frowns, then yawns, nodding slowly. "O-okay Nicky," he whispers, before Nick's lips collide with his and everything's as it should be, until Jeff starts to slip into blackness. He fights it- he struggles to stay conscious, to stay with Nick, but he's fading fast so he tries to put every emotion into that kiss.

"I love you," he thinks he hears Nick say before he falls asleep. "I always will."

…

When Jeff wakes up, he's in a hospital in the greater Ohio area. It's raining steadily, and for once, Jeff couldn't care less.

"Can I go outside?" he asks the nurse. She looks at him like he's crazy, and tells him no. The look on his face is so heartbreaking, though, that she agrees to wheel him over to the window and let him stick his hand out. The moment the first drop hits his hand, Jeff's face breaks into a smile. He laughs, feeling the water slip through his fingers. He feels so…alive.

Nick said he had sixty or seventy years left; Jeff figures he better start living for the both of them.


End file.
